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Joke : Officer Fitness Reports
The British Military writes OPR's (officer fitness reports). The form used for Royal Navy and Marines fitness reports is the S206. The following are actual excerpts taken from people's "206's"....
His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
This Officer is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won't-be.
When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
He has carried out each and every one of his duties to his entire satisfaction.
He would be out of his depth in a car parked in a puddle.
Technically sound, but socially impossible.
This Officer reminds me very much of a gyroscope always spinning around at a frantic pace, but not really going anywhere.
This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
When he joined my ship, this Officer was something of a granny; since then he has aged considerably.
Since my last report he has reached rock bottom, and has started to dig.
She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
He has the wisdom of youth, and the energy of old age.
This Officer should go far and the sooner he starts, the better.
In my opinion this pilot should not be authorized to fly below 250 feet.
This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
The only ship I would recommend this man for is citizenship.
Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
US Army Officer Efficiency Reports
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
Got into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching.
A room temperature IQ.
Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together.
A prime candidate for natural deselection.
Bright as Alaska in December.
Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
So dense, light bends around him.
If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
Was left on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long as a baby.
Wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.
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