A top movie producer was discussing his new project, an action docudrama about famous composers, with several top stars --- Stallone, Schwarzenneger and Van Damme. The three action stars were allowed to select what famous composers they would portray.

"Well", started Stallone, "I have always admired Mozart. I would love to play him."

"Chopin has always been my favourite", said Van Damme. "I'll play him."

The producer was pleased. "Sounds splendid! And who do you want to portray, Arnold?"

"I'll be Bach," he replied ...